The misunderstanding of the term “FANM DEYÒ PI DOUS”

Too many women in the Haitian culture, think the term “fanm deyò pi dous” it’s nothing but a curse on a married woman or any woman who’s in a steady relationship. The term “Fanm deyò pi dous” means, the mistress, the side chick, or whatever name someone wish to call them, is sweeter, nicer. But the Haitians take it as the other woman is better sexually than the wife or the main girl.

But underneath it means way more. And the fact that the Haitian women fail to see beyond of those words, it becomes the biggest treat for their relationship. While many women quickly to diminish a “Fanm deyò”, but it’s not a quality all women possess and also, not all fanm deyò can become a married woman.

Fanm deyò pi dous, at some degrees has to do with sex, but it also has to do with a lot more and this is why the Haitian women got it wrong. It mainly has to do with the willingness of that woman to do anything for her lover. Meaning anything. Whatever the fantasy that man had the wife or the main girl did not find suitable to do, the unwilling to listen to the need of that man, not showing enough attention to him, etc… The “fanm deyò” always ready and willing to do jump to the task and filling any missing spot that doesn’t get done in his relationship with his wife.

There’re a few things a man loves, good food, good sex, make them feel like a King, etc… And many “Fanm deyò” have the capabilities to give a man all that.

GOOD FOOD, They don’t just cook, they learn about what the man like, how he wants it to be done. It doesn’t matter how much it cost them they are willing to buy and have it done for the man. They are willing to give the perfect beverage. They don’t just go to the store and grab a carton juice, but instead they buy the fruits and make it themselves. Which is contrary to many married women, where they leave the food on the stove, and the men have to go get it themselves. Now let’s say the “fanm deyò” gonna bring him that food, or he is stopping by to pick it up. They don’t just put everything in one bowl. They’ll put every part of that food in their respected bowl. Presentation always makes a big impact. Most women that play the second role in a man love life, they focus a whole lot on presentation.

SEX, Their sex is at another level. And will start from the store all the way to the room. They are ready to spend to please their men eyes. A lot of women fail to understand, men love to watch, if not adult entertainment would be out of business. The “fanm deyò” know the power of teasing, visuality, that’s why they use the perfect panties, the perfect bed cover, the right candle, the perfect smell as you coming to the house, etc… They put all 5 senses, + 1 which is common sense in use. This stuff doesn’t just happen the first day, it is in continuity. In their eyes, It’s all about presentation, presentation, presentation. While the wife fails to change the cover on her bed, the “fanm deyò” always make sure that he lays down on a fresh clean sheet.

One thing many women don’t know, sex doesn’t start in the room, it finishes there. The Fanm deyò know that. They will send that text, the perfect photo, her laying on the bed, with that lingerie, with the perfect caption.

Then her willing to go above and beyond. Nothing too dirty for her to do. The man fantasy automatically becomes hers. Tired or not she is ready.

HE’S THE KING, The submissiveness of her is beyond comprehension. And this is one thing men love. They love when their women listen to them. While the wife downgrading every effort he does, saying how worthless he is, how incompetent he is, the “fanm deyò” boosting up his crumble self-esteem that remains in his body, and her willing to obey so fast it is unbelievable. And this is one trait not too many women have. They can be in a party with their friends, their men tell them to go back home, they are already home. They have a lot of tolerances and patients. They are completely living for that man, even though they know, they are not number one in his life.

The term “fanm deyò pi dous”, is not overrated. Any woman can be a “fanm deyò” to her man as long as she willing to go that extra mile. Whatever you don’t do as a wife, better believe it there are thousand of women are willing to do it.

Believe it or not, some relationships still, exist today because of a “fanm deyò”. Because she picks up the tabs where that wife failed.

Don’t ever underestimate a “fanm deyò” they can easily snatch a husband from a home. But you as wife better know the job you volunteer for. While doing it, always keep yourself together. Better keep in mind, the reason that man had found you attractive.

Just because you have two kids, stretch marks all over, breast sagging, weight gaining, you can’t just let that body go. You must always keep yourself together. Keep yourself as beautiful as the day you were getting married. Keep yourself presentable. But once you let your guards down, better know that man that was all into you a few years back, will slip out of your hand.

That’s the reason it is important for every married woman to think as a “fanm deyò”. One trait “fanm deyò” have, they keep themselves together. They are always looking good, they are also a good listener. They will sit and hear that man talk for hours. They always want to know how to help, that’s why many of them have been taking advantage of. They are very supportive, and very affectionate.

And these characteristics are some of the reason, many men are saying “fanm deyò pi dous”.


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